Think Goals, Not Resolutions

The New Year is always an exciting time! We get hopeful for what is to come and make resolutions that “this will be the year that I (fill in the blank).” As a counselor and coach, I know how hard it is for people to keep their New Year’s resolutions. I always recommend setting goals, not resolutions!

What’s the difference? Resolutions tend to be vague, big, and have no specific plan on how they will be accomplished. If there is a plan, it tends to be unrealistic. Goals involve action items and accountability.  I am a big believer in breaking goals down. Start by making a plan that is specific. Be flexible and establish a time frame that is reasonable. One method people use is the SMART approach to goal setting (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time Bound). If that works for you, great! If not, here’s how to keep it simple. 

Consider starting with small goals in the areas of mind, body and spirit. An example of a positive mindset goal could be “Write one positive affirmation per day,” instead of “I want to gain confidence.” A healthy body related goal could be “Move my body for 10 minutes, 3 days per week,” instead of “I want to lose weight.” Spiritual goals are often overlooked, but can make a big difference in life balance. A spiritual goal might look like “Spend 10 minutes appreciating nature daily.” When we look at balance in all 3 areas of life, it’s a recipe to thrive!

A coach is a great resource to guide you through the process if you get stuck. To achieve real change this year, set goals not resolutions. See what a difference it can make!

Kelly Gutowski, LCSW is a Counselor, Coach and Clinical Social Worker at Open Doors Counseling, Coaching and Consulting. Learn more at www.opendoorscounselingaz.com

Boundaries: Truth and Tips

One of the most common subjects that comes up in my sessions is the subject of boundaries. “What are they? How do I know if boundaries are needed? How do I set them? How do I get people to respect my boundaries?” are all questions I get asked. This is not an exhaustive list, however I’d love to share some tips with you that can help you grow in this area.

First, let’s clear up a common myth.

Myth: Boundaries are mean and hurtful to others.

Truth: Boundaries can be set with love and kindness.

The essential function of a boundary is to teach others how to treat you with respect. Boundaries communicate needs and preferences. They protect you from harm, and allow discernment to determine what relationships are healthy or unhealthy. Healthy boundaries can also reduce resentment and promote trust in relationships.

Let’s break down step by step how to establish healthy boundaries. I like using the acronym AIR to keep it simple.

Assess

-The first step is to identify the boundary that is needed. Check in and assess what your personal boundaries are. Sometimes you can feel it in your gut, or your spirit moves you saying ‘this doesn’t feel ok.’ Boundaries may also stem from core values you have, such as honesty, positive communication or physical safety.

Implement 

-In order to have a boundary, you must communicate it to others. As much as it may seem like common sense or obvious to you, other people cannot read your mind or may not share the same boundary. Communicate your boundaries using “I-statements”, such as “I feel _____, when ____happens, what I need is ____”. Be clear and specific. Give the other person a chance to know and meet your needs in a healthier way.

Reinforce 

-After you set a boundary, it is essential to follow up on it. Give praise to the other person if the boundary is honored and supported. If the boundary is violated again, follow through and communicate consequences if it should continue. Repeated boundary violations may require you to consider if the relationship is healthy. If the relationship is deemed unhealthy, you may need to consider if you need to remove the relationship.

Healthy relationships are filled with understanding, empathy, communication, trust and commitment to growth. Boundaries are tools to help support the healthy relationships possible in your life. You are worthy of it!

A coach is a great resource to guide you through the process if you get stuck. For more information visit us at www.opendoorscounselingaz.com

Kelly Gutowski, LCSW is a Counselor, Coach and Clinical Social Worker at Open Doors Counseling, Coaching and Consulting. Learn more at www.opendoorscounselingaz.com

10 Money Saving Tips

As a Financial Coach, I love helping people solve their money challenges. I also am a nerd and love saving money! Here are 10 of my favorite tips to help save you money in your budget.

1. Change your cell phone company. It’s amazing how much you can save if you explore offers from other carriers.

2. Ditch cable/satellite. With all of the streaming services out there, cable/satellite tends to be the more expensive option. 

3. Pick ONE subscription service. Don’t sign up for the extras. We never have the time to watch everything we want, or end up binge watching something and lose track of time. Sometimes too many options can overwhelm us. Pick on service and save time and money.

4. Get the cheapest plan on your internet. This may not be an option if you work at home, but much of the time the basic service will give you the bandwidth you need, and save you money in the process!

5. Look at your insurance and see if you can save by making changes. Sometimes just updating your mileage per year can save you money on car insurance. Do you have too much coverage based on your vehicle? Do an assessment or check out other companies to see if you can reduce this expense.

6. Use grocery store apps to plan your shopping list and stay on budget. When I use an app and add my items to the cart, not only do I know exactly what I will be spending and can edit the list accordingly, but I stop the impulse buys in store. 

7. Pack your lunch. Eating out is super expensive, even if just for lunch! How many of us eat at our desks in between meetings? Save the eating out for an experience you can take time and enjoy, and pack your lunch for work.

8. Make your own coffee. I love my Starbucks as much as the next person! However, I recommend for your daily cup of coffee making your own. Huge money saver, plus saving the specialty coffee for meeting up with a friend or date with your spouse will help you savor the experience.

9. Wait 24 hrs before making a purchase. Ask yourself if it’s a need or a want. We often hit “buy” or make the purchase without thinking twice. Putting a boundary on spending and waiting 24 hours will allow you to give some thought to the purchase, see if it is really in your budget, and be more intentional with spending.

10. Use a budgeting app. I was an Excel spreadsheet girl for years for my budget, but a budgeting app has made all the difference! There are so many free ones available these days I like Every Dollar by Ramsey Solutions. It is easy to use and can be shared with your spouse so you are always on the same page with the budget.

What are your favorite tips? 

Getting a Financial Coach in your corner can make a huge impact to your financial success. Contact us at admin@opendoorscounselingaz.com to learn more about our Financial Coaching Services.

Kelly Gutowski, LCSW is a Counselor, Coach and Clinical Social Worker at Open Doors Counseling, Coaching and Consulting. Learn more at www.opendoorscounselingaz.com

Spring Into Growth

Spring is a time of renewal and growth. What previously seemed dead now springs to life. Things begin to grow and bloom. This is also true about our change process. Even when we feel stagnant, we can return to a time of growth. We can restart working towards our goals and nourishing our spirits. Here are some tips to renew your process of growth this month.

1. Check in on goals. We often are motivated in January for new goals, but can slow down momentum as the year continues. Use Spring to revisit your goals, revise as needed and renew your motivation.

2. Get into nature. Spend time enjoying the beauty of nature and seeking peace. Our busy lives often move us away from stillness. Taking a time out in nature allow us to get into a more peaceful and present experience.

3. Nourish yourself spiritually and emotionally. Meditation and prayer are great tools to reconnect with your spirit and check in with yourself emotionally. 

4. Focus on gratitude. We often look at what we don’t have, and focus on comparing ourselves to those around us. Instead, try focusing on a gratitude practice. Name 3 things daily that you are grateful for to shift your perspective.

What are your favorite practices during the Spring months to feel refreshed and renewed?

I hope you find these tools helpful to use this Spring as a time of growth and renewal!

Kelly Gutowski

Kelly Gutowski, LCSW is a Counselor, Coach and Clinical Social Worker at Open Doors Counseling, Coaching and Consulting. Learn more at www.opendoorscounselingaz.com